Dun Dun Dun…Investigate

In my Netflix Instant Queue, I have probably about 100 movies and TV shows. Some of these are what most people consider quality and/or films, like Chinatown, The Graduate, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, The Lady Vanishes, and so on. But am I watching these? Nooooo. I’m watching Investigation Discovery   (ID) shows instead.

What the F is Investigation Discovery, you ask? I’m not entirely sure, but the television shows it produces found their way into my suggestion list, subsequently caught my attention and proceeded to take over my viewing life. From what I gather, ID is a network that produces exclusively real-crime television shows, displayed in a variety of formats but all with the express purpose of making sure you never trust anyone ever again.

I don’t know how they found me–probably because I watch a lot of crime dramas, like Pysch/Monk/Burn Notice/White Collar. Damn you USA Network, you lead them right to me!

Be warned, the shows listed below are NOT, repeat, NOT great television, and if you overdose on them you WILL feel like a terrible person. But if you like crime dramas and can apply any amount of willpower to the amount of reality TV you allow yourself to watch, you may proceed (with CAUTION). If nothing else, they have excellent dramatized reenactments. And by excellent I mean really cheesy and truly worthy of a circa 1993 Unsolved Mysteries episode. Now there’s a show that should be on Netflix–all 6,000 episodes of it.

(Oh Robert Stack, we miss you)

One last thing: the order in which these shows appear on this list is not a “best to worst” order or anything. It’s just the order in which I watched them. So, without further ado, I present to you Investigation Discovery TV.

I’m sorry for ruining you life.

Wicked Attraction

Format: 1 hour television show
Category: Reality/Crime
Episode Count: 39
Premise: A series of Bonnie-and-Clyde type crime duos wreak havoc in some area of the country (usually the south or the Midwest) before either being caught or dying in a dramatic and/or disturbing way.
People You Will Stop Trusting: All your married or otherwise coupled friends, particularly if they drink or do any manner of drugs.

Nightmare Next Door

Format: 1 hour television show
Category: Reality/Crime
Episode Count: 6
Premise:  Horrendous crimes committed in idyllic neighborhoods and sleepy towns where no one ever thought anything bad could happen are solved by tenacious salt-of-the-earth lawmen and women.
People You Will Stop Trusting: Your neighbors. Particularly if they seem super trustworthy now.

Who the (BLEEP) Did I Marry?

Format: 30 minute television show
Category: Reality/Crime
Episode Count: 12
Premise: The subject of each episode is the spouse of a murderer/rapist/conman/general criminal, and they (of course) never suspected a thing.
People You Will Stop Trusting: Your spouse/significant other and everyone else’s spouses/significant others.

Believe it or not, this is probably the most upbeat of the ID shows. At least there is someone left alive in the end. And it also has the cutest opening sequence–you should watch one episode just for that.


Format: 1 hour television show
Category: Reality/Crime
Episode Count: 26
Premise: Families and investigators bear witness to the events leading up to a loved one’s disappearance. The worst part: it doesn’t look like they ever find the missing people. I stopped watching after two episodes–it was too sad.
People You Will Stop Trusting: Everyone, particularly your children, and anyone you really, really love. You will also lose all faith in the competence of law enforcement.

Deadly Women

1 hour television show
Category: Reality/Crime
Episode Count: 38
Premise: Each episode recounts the dark deeds of a handful of disturbed, murderous women and attempts to explain their behavior through psychoanalysis after the fact. I thought this was going to be like Snapped (which thankfully does not seem to be available on Netflix), but it seems to be a bit more historical than that–the first few episodes look at women who lived over 100 years ago.
People You Will Stop Trusting: Kittens!

J/K. It’s just women.

The saddest part is, this isn’t even all the shows ID has supplied to Netflix. I just haven’t gotten to the rest of them. So, if you happen to watch any of them before I do, let me know what you think:

Forensics: You Decide!
Real Interrogations


About spark

In August 2011, after an entire lifetime of indiscriminate viewing, I had to cancel my DVR cable with the HD channels due to financial difficulties. Let's see what happens now.

Posted on April 25, 2012, in Netflix, TV and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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